it makes me want to cry when i realise slowly that maybe you don't really love me.

you loved her enough to want to fucking carry her on your shoulders even though she was a bitch to you, you loved her enough to endure every fight that was probably a thousand times worse than the ones we had, you loved her enough to fight for her. these are words written all over your fucking facebook wall.

but i don't feel like you're fighting for me at all. when it comes to me, you're so fucking impatient and you don't want to go through any of the downs with me. the two times when it mattered the most and we were fighting, your reaction was to get the fuck out. first by shutting me off, and then the second when you said you'd rather be single. am i not worth the fight?

both times we fought it was your fault and yet i was still willing to put down my armor to accomodate you. do you have any idea how difficult it was for me? you already hurt me and yet i'm still fucking begging you to talk to me and to understand. it's because i think, or thought, you were worth the fight. WE were worth the fight. so please don't prove me wrong. please don't let me down yet again.

fuck you for saying i'm special and different and unique. fuck you for saying you're gonna take extra care of me, fuck you for saying you're gonna make a bigger effort with me, fuck you for saying you'll be careful not to break my heart. dont you know ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS.

i was a fool to believe you. i don't think you're afraid of losing me at all.

i wait for the day that i finally stop loving you so i can just walk away from you and stop letting you hurt me. i've built walls, only to have you knock them down and worm your way into my heart just to tear it apart. teach me how to stop loving someone like this. because i don't know how long more i can take this.