who you are or can be isn't dependent on some boy. i should never let my self worth be dictated by you. last night i was so restless and tossed and turned because all i could think about was you and me pleading for God to please help me. it was like there was a war raging in me. then even when i slept i dreamt of you. even in my dreams i cannot escape. the first thing i think about this morning and every morning is you.

why do people stop trying as time passes? they say relationships always start off great then grow stale over time. but i don't believe in that. it sucks even more that you think you are cursed with that. you know why they grow stale? because people stop trying. i'm trying, as hard as i can. i just wish you could see past yourself and see how much i'm holding on for dear life.

/when i read the things you said just two months ago, it's painful because it shows me just how much things have changed. you used to be the sweetest, attentive to my needs and emotions, making an effort with me, but now it's just like you're taking me for granted. you told me once that i am like a bound book and i should open up more if things were to work out between us. but now that i have become an open book...it seems things are not working out as great. sigh, when will all this turn around? i wrote a letter and i don't even know if i should send it to you. because lately it seems like everytime i tell you about how i feel, you push it aside. was i really just novelty to you. like a toy you wanted but once you've gotten it, you don't see its appeal anymore and simply throw it to the shelf.

who do you think you are?

running round leaving scars

collecting your jar of hearts

and tearing love apart